


The One Weakness

by PorlPoint



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Guilt, Hawke had to keep working for gangs even after getting his mansion, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Hawke (Dragon Age), Red Hawke (Dragon Age), Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Whump, but no actual rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28072110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorlPoint/pseuds/PorlPoint
Summary: Anders and Hawke are captured by bandits looking to get information on the Red Iron out of Hawke. Hawke has quite a reputation, so the interrogators try a different approach to getting him to talk.
Relationships: Anders/Male Hawke
Kudos: 11





	The One Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> Stressed about school and COVID? Write whump! That’s what I did...
> 
> Also heed the tags! There is a tw.

The bandit held Anders back by his hair, his nails digging in. Anders tried to yank himself away, but the bandit only gave a vicious tug that rattled his brain.

“Hey!” Anders heard Hawke bark at the man. “It’s me you want, you said so yourself!”

Hawke was manacled to the opposite wall along with Varric and Fenris. Whoever had captured them, they came prepared with some kind of shackles that cut off Fenris’s powers. While it was just one filthy bandit that was keeping Anders on his knees in front of them, Hawke knew there were smarter people behind this. The shackles worked on Anders as well, and were even keeping Justice at bay. Even with the danger clearly in front of them, Hawke hadn’t caught a glint of blue in his lover’s eyes. Luckily Hawke didn’t see fear either, only indignant defiance. 

“You,” said the bandit, pointing a knife at Hawke, “are going to tell us about Meeran’s newest location. You’ve been her loyal dog for years.”

“I already said,” Hawke grumbled, “I don’t know. I kill for him, not run his merchandise. Ever heard of compartmentalizing?”  
That was almost a joke, for Hawke. He wasn’t amused. 

“That’s,” the bandit began, tugging on Anders’ hair again, “why we brought him here. The healer of Darktown. Everyone knows he’s shacking up with you, he’s gotta mean something. Unless he’s just a quick fuck, but that’s not what our intel tells us.”

Hawke didn’t dignify that with a response, only glowered harder. 

“We know you don’t break under torture, you’ve proved that in the past...”

Hawke, suddenly understanding the situation in a cold clarity, lurched forwards in his chains. 

The bandit laughed as another one entered the room. 

“So you get it. Glad we could come to an understanding.” 

Before Hawke could start threatening them, the new person in the room brought his hand up and slapped Anders across the face, sending him sideways. The other one caught him roughly by the shoulders so he didn’t fall. 

“You cowards!” Hawke yelled. “Face me, it’s me you’re after! You spineless-“

Another slap, this time on his other cheek. 

“Don’t really care for honor, mate,” the bandit chuckled. “As long as it gets the results.”

Although Hawke didn’t see, Varric and Fenris shared a look. They had no idea how this situation would play out. 

“Don’t tell them anything, Hawke!” Anders said, still defiant. “I can take whatever they have.”

“I don’t know anything,” Hawke repeated. “Now get your filthy hands off him or I swear when I escape I will rip your guts out and enjoy it.”

“It’s cute you think you’ll escape before we have what we came for. We’ve prepared for you and your friends, as you can plainly tell by now. Good thing you didn’t bring your other elf though, only have two of those cuffs.”

Hawke was internally kicking himself, which he knew was what they wanted. He almost did bring Merrill for the benign mission they got ambushed during, but thought Anders and Fenris were enough of a lit fuse without throwing Merrill in. 

“The cuffs don’t work perfectly though, he’ll regain mana eventually...”

Hawke was confused about why they were admitting this obvious weakness in their plan when the two bandits began roughly pulling Anders coat away, then yanking his shirt aside to expose skin. 

Then the one with the knife took his weapon and sliced across Anders’ shoulder, finally drawing a reaction from the man. Anders screamed and tried to pull away, but the bastards held him still as they made another cut.

“Stop!” Hawke yelled, seeing too much red to wonder what exactly they were doing other than hurting the man he loved and laughing about it. 

“Magebane,” one of them explained, poking at the wound. Anders flinched back, biting his lip. “Don’t worry though,” the bandit continued, “we don’t need an excuse to cut him. That’s kind of the point of this whole torture thing, yeah?”

“Don’t,” Anders managed through clenched teeth, “don’t tell them anything Hawke. You know what the Red Iron will do to you if-“  
he was cut off with a yelp by one of the men gripping his wounded shoulder and squeezing. 

“I’ll kill you,” Hawke promised the men, “I swear to the Maker...”

“This can all end if you just tell us,” the first bandit offered with a wave. “It only gets worse from here on out.” 

Blood was dripping down Anders’ chest and into his clothes, his breathing was uneven and his eyes were squeezed shut. Occasionally he twitched, probably feeling the magebane taking effect.  
One of the bandits yanked Anders’ arm behind his back and pulled, drawing out a whimper. 

Once again they asked Hawke for the location, and once again he told them he didn’t know. 

Every time Hawke refused to answer, Anders suffered for it. Time and time again he called out to Hawke to not say anything, but it was getting harder for him to speak now. He has been punched in the face, kicked in the ribs, been cut into again. 

“Alright,” one of the bandits said after delivering another kick to Anders’ prone form. “Clearly this isn’t getting us anywhere. Must not care about him that much...” 

Once again, Hawke did not signify that was a response. He was too busy trying to control his shaking hands. 

“I guess,” one of the bandits mused, dragging Anders to his feet, “this one is just a fling. Don’t suppose you’d care too much then...” the bandit caressed Anders’ cheek in a mockery of affection, “if one of us had a go.”

Before Hawke could get past the way his entire body froze, Fenris was yelling. 

“If you sick bastards touch him I will rip your heart from your body and make you watch as I crush it!”

Hawke’s own heart felt like it was in his throat as he struggled to form words. All he could do was watch the fear in Anders’ eyes, see the way he tried to move away from the man still holding his face. 

“I...I don’t know an...anything...” Hawke said weakly. “Please, don’t do this.”

“There are some actions you can never return from,” Fenris said evenly. “Don’t make yourself a monster.”

There was a terrifying pause where the bandit said nothing, and then he laughed.  
“Never was gonna do it,” the bandit sneered, “I just like watching you squirm.”

Hawke felt relief flood his body, despite the fact they were nowhere near clear of this situation. The bandit continued talking. 

“The point here was that if I wanted to rape him, I could. I’ll do whatever I want to him unless you tell me the location.”

“Just...” Hawke told them in a hoarse voice, “just take me. Hurt me. He doesn’t know what you need.”

Both bandits laughed this time. “What part of this don’t you understand? We hurt him until you tell us what we want to know.”

“I don’t know!” Hawke yelled, trying to keep his voice from breaking. 

“Let’s change tactics,” suggested the first bandit. He motioned to the other one who then pulled Anders to his feet. 

“Well give you some time to think, meanwhile we’ll go have a talk over here.” The bandits took Anders and left the cell. Anders had fought all the way, but he couldn’t win against two armed men.

“Don’t tell them anything Haw-“  
The door slammed shut.

Hawke let out a long, heavy breath in the silence of the stone room.  
“I’ll kill them,” he muttered. “I’ll...I’ll kill them.”

“Hawke...” Varric asked after clearing his throat, “do you know the location?”

“...yes.” The quiet omission felt like he was driving the dagger into Anders’ flesh all over again himself. 

“Fuck,” Varric whispered. “Hawke, you know what’ll happen to all of us if Meeran finds out where the leak came from-“

“That’s if he tells them.” Fenris interrupted. 

“Broody, he’s gonna tell them.”

“No I’m not,” Hawke bit back. 

“Yes you are. You won’t be able to stand whatever it is they do to Blondie next. You’ll break before they get tired. We need to come up with a pla-“

The air rang with a familiar scream. Then the crack of a whip, and the another scream. 

Hawke wanted to cover his ears, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t just block out his lover’s agony, not when it was him who was prolonging it. But he had to keep silent. If he talked, it would be on all of their heads. Anders suffered either way, but...  
But the screams were continuing. Maker, he has never heard Anders make a sound like that and he never wanted to hear it again.  
Hawke said nothing for the next few minutes, ignoring the tears that slid down his face.  
After a moment of silence, the door opened again. The bandits threw Anders to the floor where he caught himself his hands and knees before slumping to the ground. Hawke was already scrambling forward as much as the chains would allow him when the bandits threw a sack of something down next to him.  
“To dress his wounds,” one of them explained. “We’re giving you some time to think things over. Once that time is up, what happens next is up to you...”  
The door closed again but Hawke wasn’t paying attention, all he cared about was Anders lying on the floor with his back bleeding from a dozen gashes. 

Hawke gathered Anders into his arms, making sure not to touch his back too much. Anders’ face was stained with tears, his eyes only open a fraction and full of pain. 

“Love?” Hawke whispered. “Love, are you...” alright was not the right word. Of course he wasn’t alright.  
“I’m not dying,” Anders croaked out, trying to smile.  
Hawke ran a shaking hand across his cheek, not sure what to say. 

Hawke made up his mind. 

“I’m going to tell them,” he said. 

“No-“ Anders tried to protest, but only ended up aggravating the wounds on his back. 

“Shh,” Hawke tried to sooth.  
“I can’t let this continue.”

“Hawke,” Fenris growled, “for once I agree with the mage. We can’t be known as traitors, you know what Meeran will do.”

“We can deal with her later,” Hawke replied. “I’m not sitting by, watching that, listening to...” he looked back at Anders, and noticed a bruise forming on his ribs. 

“Think about this,” Anders told him. “We have some time. We do need to attend to my...wounds...but we h-have some time for you to calm down and think of a plan.”

Hawke didn’t reply, only started to look through the supplies that the bandits had thrown them. He didn’t want Anders’ wounds getting infected. All he found was a cloth, some alcohol, and some bandages. Nothing to dull pain. Maker, that was the point. Hawke knew disinfecting the wounds would hurt like a bitch, but it had to be done.

“Anders, you need to lie on your front so I can bandage these. It will hurt, I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Anders replied. “...these people are s-sick.” Talking was clearly taxing on the man, and Hawke wished he was doing less of it. But Hawke also knew Anders and knew that smart remarks were how he stayed sane in situations like these.

With Anders on his front, head resting on his arms, he nodded for Hawke to begin. Hawke wet the cloth with alcohol and gently touched it to Anders’ shoulder. The man flinched away, but managed to keep mostly still.  
“I’m sorry,” Hawke whispered, running a hand through his lover’s hair. “It’ll be over soon. I’ll work as fast as I can.”  
While Hawke did work fast, it felt like an eternity. For him, time was only measured in the flinches Anders tried to suppress, in the pained intakes of breath. Hawke wanted to rub his arm or touch his hair again as a gesture of comfort, but that would just prolong this. No matter the fact that this was necessary, he was still causing Anders pain.  
By the end of it Anders was trembling and Hawke was beginning to feel his composure erode.  
That was what they wanted. They wanted to make Hawke participate in the torture of his lover, and Hawke had no choice but to do it.  
He would kill them, when this was over. Even if he told them about the location to make this stop, he would track them down and end their lives. 

Once Anders was patched up, Hawke pulled him into an embrace. 

“Maker, I’m scared.” The man admitted. “I know it’s just pain, I’m supposed to be able to handle pain, but I know they’re coming back and...”  
Anders tucked his face into Hawke’s shoulder and took a shuddering breath. Hawke didn’t know what to say. Hawke had the power to end this, and he had let it get this far. 

The bandits came back to drag Anders away, and Hawke was about to tell them everything when he caught an almost imperceptible shake of Anders’ head. 

If Anders could be this strong, so could he. When the door shut again, the room filled with a palpable silence for a few minutes. They all expected the screaming to start again soon.  
It did. Hawke clenched his fists and tried to stay calm. He really did. His hands were shaking worse now, the walls of dungeon started feeling more and more confining. Those walls were between him and whatever was making his lover cry out in pain. 

Hawke was a hardened criminal. He killed people, he lied and cheated. Hawke, to most people, was a force of nature. Hawke didn’t break. This was close to breaking him. 

After the screams had stopped, there was silence for a long time. Hawke tried keeping track, but quickly lost count of the minutes. He thought at first that he would cry tears of joy when Anders stopped screaming, but this was somehow worse. Hawke imagined an Anders who was too tired to even yell anymore. Hawke’s mind came up with everything they could be doing to Anders while he was trapped behind these walls. 

After some time more of this new agony, Hawke was close to snapping. He could hear Varric and Fenris talking, planning, in the background but he was too far gone to listen.  
Then the door opened, and the two bandits entered. Without Anders. 

“Where is he?!” Hawke demanded, now unable to hide how his voice shook. 

“In another cell, awaiting your answer. Your boy doesn’t much like the dark.”

That’s what did it. They were keeping Anders in the dark. He was alone in the silence with nothing but pain, and he hated the dark. 

“I’ll tell you everything,” Hawke breathed out. 

Looking up, he had just enough time to see the bandit grin before there was a sudden flash of light from behind Hawke and then Fenris was on his feet, his hand in the bandits chest. 

“You said yourself, those cuffs don’t last forever.” After that, Fenris ripped his heart out. The other bandit didn’t even have time to scream before he too was dead.

Fenris wasted no time in securing the keys to the cuffs, unlocking Varric and then Hawke. As soon as Hawke was free, he bolted out the door and into the hallway. There were various side rooms, but all of them empty. It wasn’t until he got to the end of the hall that he saw a closed door. Hawke wrenched the door open, seeing light spill into the room and illuminating a man curled up in the corner. He had been staring off into space and squinted at the light coming from the door, making the sound of a drowning man finding air. It was Anders. 

Hawke wasted no time in going to Anders’ side, torn between grasping him in a hug and giving him space. He settled on touching his shoulder. Anders, shaking, looked up at him with frightened eyes. 

“H-hawke?” He asked. “Are y-you really here?”

“I’m here, Anders.” Hawke promised.  
Anders began to shake even harder, curling into Hawke’s touch and sobbing.  
“Shh, shh” Hawke whispered, throwing caution to the wind and embracing his love. “It’s okay, it’s okay now, they can’t hurt you anymore. It’s over, it’s over.”  
Truly, Hawke wasn’t sure if those last words were for Anders or himself. 

Hearing footsteps behind him, he covered Anders from view with his body protectively. He knew the man was proud and wouldn’t want anyone seeing him in such distress. He had put on such a brave face before, but Hawke knew how he couldn’t handle being alone in the dark. It was probably that more than anything that broke him in the end.

“Hawke,” Fenris said in an uncharacteristically soft tone, “we should get going.”

“Here,” Varric added, tossing a bundle of fabric by their side. “It’s Blondie’s coat.”

“Anders,” Hawke nudged gently. “Anders, it’s...it’s time to go. You’re safe now, we just have to get back to the mansion. First let’s get those cuffs off though. 

Silently, Anders offered his hands towards Hawke. Hawke reached behind him blindly, expecting the keys Fenris handed him. 

Once Anders was free from the cuffs Hawke managed to pull the man to his feet. Anders was unsteady, shaking like a leaf. 

“Can I carry you?” Hawke asked. 

Anders nodded, still silent. He had his coat wrapped around himself protectively. Hawke picked him up, and everyone left the Maker-forsaken hideout. 

Hawke took the backstreets to his mansion, avoiding anyone else who was out in the crisp Kirkwall night. Fenris and Varric were coming with him, they all had to debrief about what had just transpired. Hawke also got the sense that neither of them wanted to be alone at the moment, even if it wasn’t them the bandits had decided to torture. 

The first thing Hawke did was set a now sleeping Anders on their bed, tucking the covers around the other man. Hawke placed him on his front in an effort to help his back heal. 

Hawke left instructions with a rather alarmed Orana to alert him if Anders woke up. Hawke didn’t want to leave him, but he also knew Varric and Fenris would want to talk. This had been a gang matter at the end of the day, and they were all involved in Hawke’s dealings with the Red Iron. Even with his fancy new mansion, Hawke had debts to pay. 

Varric had started the fire in one of the living rooms and Fenris sat awkwardly on the couch. 

“...Hawke,” he greeted. “We need to talk about what happened.”

“And how to keep it from happening again,” Varric sighed. “I think we can all agree that went tits up. If Fenris hadn’t gotten out when he had, we would be in a lot of trouble with Meeran.”

Hawke frowned. “I know. I’m the one who broke, and...I’m sorry. Well, no” Hawke laughed mirthlessly. “I’m not sorry. I should have done that an hour before it got that bad.”

“The abomi- Anders begged you to stay silent,” Fenris reminded him. “In doing so, you protected him along with everyone else.”

“Doesn’t fucking feel like it,” Hawke replied. “Feels like I watched impassively as my lover was tortured for hours.” 

“Hawke, that was anything but impassive,” said Varric. “If looks could kill they would have been dead right then and there. The chains rattled you were shaking so bad.” 

“I still let them hurt him. They cut him and laughed. They threatened to rape him.”

Fenris tensed at that. Varric did look over to Fenris, probably remembering his uncharacteristic defensiveness towards Anders. Although knowing what Hawke knew about Fenris, that didn’t surprise him at all. 

“But thankfully they did not,” Fenris said evenly. “They only intended to rattle you. They were simpering cowards, resorting to that.”

“It worked though,” Hawke sighed. “I was scared shitless. The next people to try and get anything out of me might try something similar. I have a lot of enemies.”

“These enemies did not live to tell the tale,” Fenris reassured Hawke. “To everyone, you are still untouchable.”

“But now I know that’s not true. Even if Anders were still begging me to keep my mouth shut, even if I knew there would be worse consequences for talking...I’d talk. I didn’t make a calculated move back there, I just couldn’t take any more.”

The three men were silent for a few moments before Varric spoke. 

“So you have a weakness. Everyone does. Yours is your family, anyone who knows you well knows that. And Blondie is family to you at this point. The world doesn’t know you like we do, they don’t know your weakness. It’s okay to have one.”

Fenris scoffed. “Hardly. My weaknesses have gotten people killed, and yours might yet. If something like what happened tonight happens again, you will need to control your emotions better. I do not say this to be cruel, as I myself failed at this in the past.”

“...I don’t think I can. I’ll be hearing him scream in my nightmares for years, I reckon. I thought I was untouchable, but...I don’t know. I was weaker than Anders, that’s for sure. It was him actually being hurt and he wanted me to stay silent. I...have a lot to think about.”

Fenris only gave a nod in reply. Shortly after that Orana entered the room, and Hawke didn’t even wait for her to say anything before heading up to his room. His friends could see themselves out.

When Hawke opened the door to his room, he saw Anders lying on his side, staring into space. He looked up as Hawke entered, then smiled.  
“Hello, Love.”

Hawke almost started crying again. 

“Not sure I deserve that,” Hawke said quietly, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. Anders tried to sit up, groaned, and then rested against the pillows. 

“You’ll hurt your back like that.” Hawke told him. 

“My mana will be back soon, I can heal it.”

There were a few moments of silence. 

“I’m sorry,” Hawke said. 

“...what? Sorry for what?”

“For letting them hurt you!” Hawke tried not to yell. The last thing Anders needed was yelling. “I watched them hurt you and I did nothing for too long.”

Anders was shirtless right now, and Hawke could see the shoulder wound that has been hastily patched over. 

“You did the right thing,” Anders told him. “I may have broken at the end...in the dark, but you-“

“I broke too.” Hawke had to admit. Anders stopped talking, looking stunned.  
“When they came back a second time and didn’t bring you. They said they left you in the dark and that broke me. After everything, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t stand how long-“  
Hawke’s voice broke slightly but he continued, “I couldn’t stand how long I let it go on. They could have been doing anything to you and the thought that I was letting it happen...”

“...oh,” was all Anders managed.

“Can I just...” Hawke ran a hand across his face. “Can I look you over? I need to see that you’re okay.”

Anders nodded, so Hawke slowly pulled the blanket away from his body to assess the damage. The damage Hawke could have prevented.  
There were multiple bruises on his torso, as well as a new shallow cut across his chest that Hawke hadn’t noticed the first time. Hawke’s fingers hovered over the slowly healing cut.  
On his left wrist there was a bruise as well, probably from being dragged around. His legs had been left alone thankfully, and Hawke didn’t need to look at his back again. 

“...let me get some elfroot poultices for the cuts.”

“Like I said,” Anders told him, “my mana will return soon enough. I can heal them then.”

“It’ll make me feel better,” Hawke was saying, getting up from the bead. Anders reached out to grab his arm before he could leave.

“Don’t go, not yet.”  
A moment of silence.  
“I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Hawke let out a long sigh. “Of course,” he said. Hawke was not known as a gentle man to most, but it was times like this where that side shone through.

Hawke slid into the bed beside Anders and situated them so that his lover rested his head on Hawke’s shoulder. Hawke ran his hand reverently through Anders’ hair. 

“I was just acting brave,” Anders admitted to a quiet room. “I was scared. I was scared the whole time, even before they shut me in that room.”

“Of course you were scared, love,” Hawke replied, kissing his temple. “I was terrified.”

“I’m sure you would have lasted longer,” was Anders’ retort. “I’ve heard your reputation.”

“It’s something you get used to,” Hawke admitted, “and I hope to the Maker that you don’t get used to it. This is never going to happen again.”

Anders sighed. “You don’t know that. We both live dangerous lives, you with the Red Iron and me with the mages collective. And I’m not a complete stranger to taking a beating, I did run away from the Circle seven times.”

“And Maker help those Templars if we ever cross paths,” Hawke added. Anders chuckled. Hawke so often acted as though he could shield Anders from a past that already happened. 

The two fell into a companionable silence for a while before Hawke spoke again.  
“I’m sorry I broke, after you suffered so much. I could have spared you that suffering earlier or at least had the resolve you did to see it through to the end.”

“Hawke, it’s okay,” Anders replied. “You know I said I’d drown us in blood to keep you safe. If someone was hurting you, I don’t know how I would handle it. This time turned out badly, but it’s over.”

“It’s over,” Hawke repeated, more to himself. “It’s over.” He ran a hand up and down Anders’ arm. “You’re safe.”

For now, that was enough.


End file.
